It's Always Something

 Last week I flew over 2,000 miles to drop my teen off at college, then hopped on my return flight alone. It was almost unbearable. Now, I consider myself a pretty tough cookie. I am not someone who lives in fantasy land. I like realism and appreciate brutal honesty. In fact, my nickname amongst my girlfriends is Asshole because I tell people like it is. I know that my daughter will be back home for summer and holidays. I know that this would not be our last good memory together. Yet even still, I lost my cool during this drop off process. Several times during the trip, my teen had tears fall. Each time, I felt nothing but parental wisdom flow through me to comfort her. She was going to be fine. Enjoy water polo and have fun with her teammates. She'd be home in just over a few months. THIS WAS NO BIG DEAL. So, when the time came to give her the final hug before I headed out of her dorm, she cried and I didn't. I just hugged her the tightest I have ever hugged anyone in my entir...

Perhaps it's the hope of the New Year, but I am feel especially motivated so far in 2021. Before I dive into that, here are some highlights to catch you all up to speed on what has transpired over the last 7 years since my last post: 1. I had a son in 2014 2. I became a stay-at-home mom in 2015 3 Life 2016-2019 4. Covid Pandemic, daughter graduated high school, bought a house all in 2020 As you can see, besides attending to my family's every need and want, I really have not done much with my life. Hence the 7-year hiatus from this blog. I have, however, managed to think and dream a lot the last 7 years. These are some of my thought highlights: 1. I want to be a better version of myself (mentally, physically, and sexually) 2. I want to be fiscally responsible by investing, budgeting, thrifting, and earning 3. I want to be an entrepreneur so that I can earn an income around my family's schedule 4. I want to write a book to leave something of me behind so that my kids, grandki...

There was a time when the finish line seemed like it was just around the next bend. I just realized that was a few bends ago and these legs are getting quite shaky and tired. What if there is no finish line?

I wish I was really good at something. You know the type of "good" I am talking...er, typing about. The type of good that pours from my soul at every moment in time. The type that cannot be contained, controlled, or compromised.  Something that I was so good at that it consumed every part of my being, energy, and time.  Others would feel this thing that I do so well. They would wonder about it. Talk about it. Share it with other people.  It would be tangible and consume all the senses. This thing would come so naturally from within me, that people would often think it was no work at all. It would appear so effortless, in fact, that others would try to emulate this thing that I do so well.  They will try, but will fail because this thing cannot be replicated. It is so unique and natural that it is impossible to repeat. I want to be special like everyone else.

Something strange has been happening lately. The kiddo and I have made some unspoken strong bond with one another for the past few months. After months and months of attitude from her, she seems to have *gasp* matured a bit.  And with this maturity, she has replaced attitude with communication. I seem to be falling in love with her all over again, which I did not think was even possible. It is the most amazing feeling! I dread the day this may be brutally disrupted by puberty, but for now, I am soaking this all up and memorializing it with this post. I LOVE YOU, BROOKIE BEAR!  

This past weekend was hot, hot, hot... finally.  The kiddo and I spent the entire weekend in flip flops and shorts.  It made going back to work on Monday even more dreaded. Bleh. The nice weather means that Springtime is finally here! Spring makes me think is bright colors, fruity tastes, and light crisp salads. I have always wanted to make lemon bars from scratch, especially since G loves lemon deserts.  Earlier today while waiting for the kiddo at the dentist, I was flipping through magazines and came across this recipe. Tonight, on a whim, I finally decided to stop thinking about it and just did it.  With the help of the kiddo, we were able to make this delicious, yet surprisingly easy recipe. Once the cooled and were chilled, these babies were refreshing and sweet.  Fabulous! I recommend cutting them into small 2"x2" squares- anything bigger is just so much sweetness.  I will definitely be making these again for our dinner guests this spr...

If you are like me, you have a love/hate relationship with grocery shopping.  I love the idea of serving my family healthy home-cooked meals for the week.  I hate doing it all within a strict budget.  The budget constraints and my amateur skills in the kitchen make coming up with creative, healthy, budget-conscious meals a bit difficult for me. Recently, I came across this article that listed the 20 best foods to pick up at the grocery store.  It's an interesting read and I hope you find it useful the next time you are at the grocery store. ( Pinterest ) Here is the list for quick reference: 1. Almonds- Monounsaturated fat, protein, Thiamin, Riboflavin, and Vitamin E 2. Asparagus- Anti-Inflammatory nutrients and folic acid 3. Avocados- Monosaturated fats, Vitamin A, D, E, and K 4. Berries- Vitamins and Antioxidants 5. Bell Peppers- Antioxidants 6. Black Beans- Packed with nutrients 7. Broccoli- Vitamin C and Vitamin K 8. Brussel Sprouts- V...

I just had to post a pic of the hair accessories the kiddo has been working on lately for Entrepreneur Day at school.  If you recall, she was big into making headbands last fall.  Recently, however, she has been branching out into hair clips. St. Patrick's Day was coming up, so she decided to make a bunch of green glittery shamrocks for the school bazaar.  She also made some non-holiday hair accessories. I just love these oversized glittery stars she made. I cannot wait to wear mine!  

So much joy. Happiness. Sunflower filled warm hugs. This moment. Right now. Perfection. So much anger. Frustration. Razor sharp slashing words. This moment. Right now. Torture. Repeat.

Last September we moved into a new place.  The home is in a wonderful area and I just love living here. We are, however, just renting now, and unable to make updates to the home. Not being able to remodel is KILLING me because the house is from the 1970's, and nothing inside has been updated since then. Besides the Brady Bunch look, the worst part of the new place is that it doesn't get much natural light.  In addition to that, our furniture is dark brown, and it looks like we live in a cave. This weekend, I decided I was going to try and lighten up the room by painting some furniture turquoise.  I didn't really ask G prior, so I was a bit nervous that he would be upset when he got home. Before After I just LOVE what the turquoise has done to the room.  The splash of bright colors opens up the room and gives it a more artsy/loft feel.  Thankfully, G loved the final room, otherwise, I would be busy priming and painting instead of t...

Valentine's Day snuck up on me this year. Mostly because it is the same day as G's birthday, so I was busy planning that rather than getting prepared for the holiday. Brooke needed cards for all of her classmates and I just hate purchasing those ready-made ones at the stores. I just feel like they don't quite capture Brooke's personality accurately.  Afterall, she is just so full of spunk and love that I feel anything that represents her should be as unique as that little girl. One afternoon when Brooke got home from school, I grabbed my camera and took a picture of her holding her fist toward the camera.  I used photoshop to add a Valentine greeting to the picture, then we hopped in the truck and headed to Kinkos.  We ended up printing 35 copies.  When we got home, we used a blade cutter and lollipops to make a personalized Valentine's Day card.   I was very please with how it came out and Brooke absolutely LOVED them.  How couldn't you??? ...

Many years ago, I bought this Kenneth Cole coat that was way too big for me because it was on sale and, at the time, I needed a warm coat for a winter New York trip.  It served its purpose well and fit over many layers of clothing during that trip to keep my warm.  Unfortunately, I have not worn the coat since then because it is oversized and boring. As I was browsing through Mod Cloth , I ame across this jacket: This jacket became my inspiration. I will attempt to convert the coat collecting dust in my closet to this beautiful, classic coat. I started with this: And ended up with this: Since this was my first repurposing project, I am quite pleased with the outcome and I am surprised at how easy it was to do! I am in love with the fact that I made this coat my own and it is one of a kind. I think I have a greater connection to this cheap coat over any of my expensive ones. This coat will definitely be worn more versus hanging in the coat closet.

Funny is sexy.

It has been an interesting few months filled with ups, downs, and to-be-continueds. Such is life, there will always be challenges and obstacles to overcome. I never expected child-rearing; however, to be something I needed to constantly work hard and improve upon. Previously, raising kids has always come intuitively. I didn't think about how I wanted to raise my kids or how to parent them. I just did. Over the past three years, however, I have noticed myself become increasingly over-concerned with my daughter's education. So much so that I have started stressing my 4th grader into tears over schoolwork, more specifically math. Perhaps it's because I believe the higher success in math translates to a higher success-rate in other subjects inevitably meaning a higher success-rate in life. Or perhaps I have gotten myself caught up in an entirely different rat race of life. I have somehow enlisted myself into a small yet overwhelming demographic of parents who believe school gra...

I haven't been able to sleep well ever since nursing school ended earlier this month. At first, I thought my body was used to the late nights/early mornings routine. But it has been almost 3 weeks since pinning now, and I am still up... thinking. I started doing yoga in the mornings. Nothing fancy, just whatever is available for free OnDemand. I am hoping some daily meditation will help clear my mind or at least organize it. So much to do and I finally have the time to do it all, but I don't. Instead I spend my days (and nights) distracting myself by starting new projects that I know I will never finish. Today, I thought it would be a good idea to look through an enormous library of personal photos and organize them. That task took precedence over looking for a job, studying for the state boards test, or doing my taxes. And after an all day walk through memory lane, those photos are no more organized than when I found them. Now, I lay here at 3:30am feeling guilty I wasted anot...

Five years ago I started an annual holiday tradition- a gift wrapping party with my closest friends. Over the last year or so, I have lost touch with several girlfriends. Life + family keeps all of us pretty busy it seems. So this year, that party consisted of just me + the kiddo. To try and keep our wrapping Eco-friendly and cost-effective, we wrapped our gifts in old newspapers + red yarn. We made the tags out of brown paper bags + stamps. And the final touch was a tree branch from our Christmas tree. The result was eye-catching practical gift wrapping with a personal touch. The downside to using newspapers as gift wrap is black fingers from the newsprint. It rubs off easily, so be sure to wash hands immediately after wrapping before touching + grabbing other things. Other than that, we were very pleased with our earth conscience choice. - xoxo

#1- Just when you think you've got it figured out, you don't. This summer, Brooklynn learned how to ride her bike without training wheels. As the weeks passed, we rode and rode to get her comfortable with controlling her speed, turning left and right, and abrupt stops. After a few months of consistent riding, we took our regular evening ride. Laughing as we rode, pushed ourselves up hills and took turns sharper and faster. And just like that, Brooklynn falls. The look on her face spoke a thousand words. Surprise. Confused. Embarrassed. She looked over to me for reassurance, which I gladly gave with a smile and nod, and she picked herself up, got back on, and peddled away. In that brief moment, I was reminded that no matter how much we think we're on autopilot and comfortable in life, there will be a corner we take too fast and we will fall. We will be shooken up, possibly embarrassed. We'll get up and keep going. Cautiously at first, then eventually catching our stride ...

It could happen. The end of civilization as we know it could be wiped away almost instantly by Mother Nature. No matter how well our house is built or how much food and water we have stored away, WE WILL NOT BE PREPARED ENOUGH. And when it happens, we will turn on each other like zombies. In preparation for the end of the world, I have decided to try and learn some self-sustaining skills that will separate myself from your average zombie. I plan on covering the basics: food, water, shelter, and safety. 1. Gardening- Let's face it. We are spoiled. We're so accustomed to buying everything from a grocery store that if the giant quake were to happen right now, we'd be living off canned beans from our pantry. After we attack our neighbors and eat their canned beans, we will eventually die a slow death from hypertension-related diseases. Zombies can't grow food. This means we must learn to do it. 2. Camping- I'm not talking RV living. I mean backpacking in for a few miles...

I passed pre-reqs with a 91% average. Although the material wasn't too difficult, it was very time consuming. 8 hrs of lecture + 2 hrs of reading every day. Plus, quizzes everyday. It was an intense month. On Monday, I started core, semester 1. Three months of 2 days in lecture (8 hrs each day) and 3 days in clinicals plus tests on Mondays/Wednesdays/Fridays. I anticipate this is where it begins to get interesting. Wish me luck.

This morning I got together with some of my girlfriends to attend another girlfriend's kickboxing group exercise class. I have not been to the gym nor consistently exercised for over two years and completely underestimated how HARD exercise can be for me! Like math, it appears that if you do not use it, you definitely LOSE it. Only 30 minutes into the routine, I felt lightheaded and nauseous and had to sit down to catch my breath. As I sat there and watched my energizer-bunny friend teach the class, I realized that I do not want to make my life more complicated than it has to be by not taking care of my health. I don't want to stroke out. I don't want to be out of breath when I walk up 5+ flights of stairs. I don't want back pain, joint pain, or any other type of pain that stems from lack of exercise and poor diet. I don't want stints in my body to hold my arteries open. I don't want chemicals coursing through my veins to regulate my blood, hormones, or we...